A few days of snow

I wish I had an excuse for the lack of posts on the blog since the new year but that’s all it would be, an excuse. Let’s just blame it all on the blank filling my mind at the moment.

We’ve had quite a bit of snow here last week, which hadn’t happened in years so of course, that was an event for us. I absolutely love the snow, it’s so pretty and relaxing, and even allowed me to skip a few classes because of the train problems haha. Who wants to go to uni when you could stay home and build a snowman? 😉

I took a lot of pictures throughout the weeks, to capture this snow miracle and thought I’d share a few of them with you !

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Looking Back on 2017

I had a box that I filled with pieces of paper on which I wrote things that made me happy this year, and I have to say it really helped putting things into perspective. It reminded me of the happy times I spent with loved ones like the time we went to England to see my littles. The things I did to fight my anxiety like going all the way to the top of the Eiffel Tower or going to the Space Walkers 2 convention. The things that inspired me to be better or that I was just obsessed with like The Handmaid’s Tale. The big steps in my life like my first pay day or getting my driver’s licence. Opening all these pieces of paper was such a fun was to be reminded of some things I couldn’t capture in photos or videos !

Another thing I’ve been absolutely obsessed with this year is the 1 Second Everyday app which I started using in March. You basically upload a 1 second video or a photo everyday (or at least try to, God knows I haven’t succeeded haha) and can compile them all at the end of the month / year. I’ve done mine a few days a few days ago and I have to say I’m obsessed with the result ! It brings back so many good memories ! I definitely want to try to make more of an effort this year so I can have as many days as possible !

I also kept a diary, even though I don’t have many things written on it, just  because I like to look back on everything I felt at a certain time and realise how stupid it was to complain about certain things, or just to laugh at certain random memories I wrote down. I think it’s a great way to realise that everything is temporary. Even things that felt like the end of the world at some point might not even matter after a while. Keeping that state of mind is what kept me going this year, because everything bad that’s happened this year is going to open new doors for me, new adventures that I can’t wait to go on !

2018 is going to be a good one, trust me 😉

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What I Got For Christmas 2017

Happy New Year everyone ! Hope you had a lovely Christmas if you celebrate it & a lot of fun for the new year !

I know I said I’d post this blogpost on Sunday but I didn’t expect my week-end to be this busy and so I didn’t really find the time to do it before today. Anyway, as you know from the title, I’m going to show you some of the things I got for Christmas (I say some because I forgot to include the coat I got – but you’ll most likely see me wearing it on Instagram at some point – and a Touch Led desk lamp). I always love to know what people got for Christmas, just because I’m curious and it can also give me ideas for the future haha, so feel free to comment what presents you received !

The new Hufflepuff edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone & a Hufflepuff notebook

A pastel pink handbag to go with my new grey coat

A Mermaid tail blanket to keep my legs warm & finally become the mermaid I always knew I was 😉

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What I Look Forward To This Winter ❄

This is it, folks ! December is here and we already had our first snowflakes falling down the sky, which in my book means that winter has officially started. I know that a lot of people are complaining about how cold it is right now, but to be honest, I am absolutely loving it ! There really is nothing as magical as this time of year. I decided to share with you some of the things I plan to do during the season (mostly during December let’s be honest) and would love for you to tell me what you look forward to the most  – And yes, that is a picture of me as a child being really excited about this time of year, nothing has changed ❄

• Blasting Christmas music all day long without anyone judging me

• Drinking all the hot chocolates & adding whipped cream, marshmallows and sprinkles to make it even more extra

• Finish my 1 Second Everyday for the year ! – and start again on January 1st, DUH

• Doing Secret Santa with my Uni friends fo the first time !

• Taking my sister to Paris to see the Christmas decorations

• Go ice skating

• Decorate my house

• Reflect on the year I’ve had

• Watch every Gilmore Girls winter episode

• Get baking !

• Go Christmas shopping

• Spend some quality family time

• Cosy nights watching Christmas movies / reading a Christmas book by the fire

• Eat all the good food – winter food is THE BEST

• Spend New Year’s Eve at my best friend’s house !!!

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The Pressure to be Perfect & Fear of Failure

I feel like my entire life, people have had this idea of me being this perfect person simply because I’m a good student. I’ve never quite understood how getting good grades meant that I had to be good at everything. Am I not allowed to have my own struggles in life?

I could always feel this pressure put on me, turning into a little voice in the back of my head – not such a good thing for someone who already has high anxiety. It was like by failing, I wouldn’t only disappoint myself but also the huge amount of people who had faith in me. To them, I wasn’t allowed to doubt myself, because I had always been « so good at everything ».

The perfect example for this, is my journey towards getting my driver’s licence. That was a really big deal for me, and I was really anxious about driving – especially because I’ve always thought I’d die in a car accident for some reason – but everyone told me I was being stupid and obviously I was going to nail my driving test because I was so good at everything. Knowing that by good at everything, they really mean good at school – because what else am I good at, to be honest? – I realised how stupid it all was. How does being a good student mean I’m going to be a good driver?

And guess what? I failed my driving test. And it felt like the end of the world to me, not only because I had failed but mostly because I felt like I was letting everyone down -they were all so sure I was going to do so well ! They even seemed more affected by this than I was. The people I was the most anxious to see after my failure were my driving instructor, who I avoided until I had to come to book new driving lessons shortly before my second driving test – that it to say 5 months after my first one.

I tried to joke about it all and for some reason, they thought it meant that I was devastated. They tried to blame it on the examiner – they can be so unfair, you know? – even after I’ve told them I was the only one to blame for my failure.

I think it’s funny how everyone around me thinks it was good for me to fail because I’m not used to it and it made me realise it’s not the end of the world. Truth is, without all this pressure put on me since I was a little girl, I wouldn’t have gotten so worked up about all this. I knew that there were way more important things in the world and I was blessed to be able to have access to this luxury that is driving (let alone being able to try multiple times even in case of failure !).

Since I am working on my anxiety, I have decided to work on my fear of failure & disappointement. I know I work my butt-off to make sure I get what I want (which is the main reason why I’m not used to fail) but I’m also aware of what I’m capable of, which includes my limits and it’s not fair to me to add some pressure because of what other people expect from me. I try to put things in perspective and remind myself that everything will work out for me in the end. I’ll be okay.

Turns out, ignoring the pressure people put on me & focusing on myself and what I want seem to be working because I had my second driving test this week & passed ! Just another reminder that some things may take time but they will happen eventually if you put your mind to it !

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What’s In My Bag? | Work Edition

what's in my bag work edition

As some of you may know, this week was my first week working at my summer job, where I’ll be all staying all month. It’s been very stressful since I’ve never had a summer job before, but everything has been going well so far ! I thought I’d show you some things I take with me to get me through the day.

1 – Water bottle

Working all day, it can be easy to forget hydrating myself. I always take this water bottle with me and fill it every morning (it can contain up to 750ml of water) so I can keep it on my desk and drink regularly during the day.

2 – Elastic folder

An elastic folder is a must have for my work. Given that I am taught how to do different things, they give me examples of each of these things so I don’t forget how it must be done for the next time I have to do it.

3 – Hand sanitizer

I work with a lot of people, which means I have to shake a lot of hands, work on a computer that a lot of other people have used… Let’s just say, a hand sanitizer really is a must, to make sure I get rid of as much bacteria as I can.

4 – Wallet

My wallet is where I keep my badge, my professional card, my ID and basically everything I need to prove that I really am an employee haha. Also, I keep some money in case I have to buy myself some lunch (I usually take it from home but you never know). There’s also a mall right next to my building so if I ever feel the need to do a little shopping after work, there’s always that option 😉

5 – Book

My mum & I work in the same place, so obviously we drive together as well. My work hours make me finish earlier than her, so I usually wait for her in her office and a book is the best way to keep me occupied during that time.

6 – Glasses

I don’t have to wear my glasses all day, but spending my day in front of a computer screen can be really tiring for my eyes, so my glasses really are a must – at least if I want to avoid spending my evening with a migraine 😉

7 – Notebook

Just like my plastic folder, I use my notebook to keep track of everything I need to do for each task – I don’t want to make any mistake in my work. Plus, I can’t work if I don’t remember my codes now, can I ?

8 – Planner

Let’s be honest, I always have my planner on me. My memory isn’t always the best so it’s best for me to write it all down and make sure I’m organised, which really helps with my anxiety !

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Life Update | Where Have I Been?

You may have noticed that I haven’t really been posting on the blog lately and I owed you an explanation since I don’t want you to think this has anything to do with me losing interest in blogging. Trust me, I haven’t. I have expressed before that this blog has always been kind of like my happy place and that I just wanted it to be a place for positivity-only. The problem is that obviously, life isn’t always all rainbows and flowers and I don’t want my  problems to have a negative impact on the blog.

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’ll know that my parents are currently separating and this is obviously going to huge change in my life. I have actually expected this separation for years now but for it to actually be happening is something else. I also don’t have a good relationship with my father and this separation raises huge questions for my future life and his involvement in it since I’m over eighteen and don’t have any obligations towards him. I’ve also been supporting my mum 100% during this hard times, even if that means shifting the parent/child relationship from time to time – after all she’s done for me, I feel like the least I could do is help in any way that I can.

We’ll also be selling our house because it’s getting way to expensive for us and I have to admit that having strangers come into my personal space and not knowing where I’m going to go next isn’t the most comfortable thing I’ve experienced. It’s actually quite scary to me that I have no way of helping in any way.

The whole environment I live in has been quite complicated lately so I’ve tried as much as I could to focus on positive things in my life & avoiding the whole thing either by staying away from home or drowning in my books and tv shows. My mental health has of course been affected by all this and I try as much as I can to stay as sane as I can by reminding myself of how lucky I am for many things I have in my life anyway. I have started writing a lot again (outside of the blog obviously) because it has always been the best therapy for me.

As for the blog, I do have some blogposts idea and will of course post them as soon as I feel like writing them. It will remain a positive place filled with things that I love and I know that the struggles I face on my everyday life will somehow turn into one of those positive things with time. I believe that nothing can be completely negative, and you just have to look for the positive outcomes, which I am trying to do on a daily basis !

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How not to turn into a couch potato on Summer break

Alright, it may seem a little early for some of you to talk about summer break, but truth is, it’s already that time of the year for me. My Summer break is incredibly long since I’m in uni, given that my classes only start again at the end of September. Five months of Summer break but let’s be honest, I’m going to spend most of my time at home since I usually go on holiday for about two weeks and my job will only take place in August. It would be easy to just turn into a couch potato but then I’d feel as if I was wasting my time of freedom haha. So I thought I’d share with you how I’ve been trying to be productive – at least a few hours per day because let’s be honest, I do spend a lot of times watching my shows anyway.

1 – Make A To-Do List

image from giphy.com

I find that for me, making a to-do list is the best way to make sure I get things done throughout the day. I have a journal that I use exclusively to « plan » my days. Of course, I don’t write absolutely everything on them, with the hours and everything because I don’t want to feel as if I wasn’t free to do anything I want but my objective is to get everything done by the end of the day. It’s also the best way to feel like you were productive, just by seeing everything on your list being ticked-off. Make sure you don’t overload your to-do list. Be realistic, know yourself and what you’re capable of because otherwise, you might feel discouraged if you don’t get everything done. I usually plan my week every monday, and just spread everything over the week so I get a little bit done every day.

2 – Deep Clean Your Space

If you’re a bit of a freak like me, your space (whether it’s just your room or your entire house) might be filled with stuff you don’t even use but you’re too scared to get rid of (« but what if I eventually change my mind about it? »). Well now is time for you to gather all your strenght and get it over with. Truth is, if you’ve never used some of the stuff (whether it’s clothes or something else), you might never do so keeping it will do nothing but take up space you could have better use for. Deep cleaning your space could not only be beneficial in the space you’ve gained, but you can also sell some of your stuff or donate it, which could be beneficial both for you and another person ! You’ll feel much better afterwards, I promise.

3 – Take Care Of Your Body / Work Out

image from giphy.com

Spring/Summer is the best moment for me to start taking care of my body. Although at winter time, the coziness -meaning unhealthy food and hiding under oversized clothes- is the most important thing to me, knowing that my skin is going to be showing when the heat comes back is usually a good enough motivation to start taking care of my body again. I just feel like it’s important to feel good about yourself. I don’t mean that in the way that I have to lose weight and just have a « beach body » but I want to have a healthy body and feel good in my skin. Taking care of yourself is extremely important and I can’t wait to see some change in me.

4 – Help Around The House

image from disney.tumblr.com

This one is mostly for the people who, just like me, still live at their parents’ house. My mum works all week, comes back home and cooks for us, spends her weekends doing laundry… Given how much time I have on my hands, I thought important to help her around the house as much as she would let me so she could have time to herself. Since we’re in the process of selling our house, we need the house to look as good as possible so I like to help either by cleaning, sorting some of our stuff, helping with the different chores… This way, not only am I being productive, I’m also showing my mum that I appreciate everything she does for us and allow her to relax as much as possible.

5 – Go Outside For A Few Hours

image from theodysseyonline.com

The sun is out and so should you. Although locking yourself in the house, blinds shut so you don’t have any reflection on your laptop/TV screen, would be the easy way to spend your day, you might regret doing so at the end of the day, when you see that you haven’t moved all day, or in a few months, when the sun will be reported missing. I’m not saying you should spend your day outside, going out with your friends every day or anything like that. You could just lay in your garden (or in a park if you don’t have a garden) with some music, book, tan, do whatever you feel like doing as long as you spend a few hours outside. It’ll be good for you, trust me. Also try to see your friends at least once a week so you get a certain social life 😉

6 – Try Something New

Summer time is the best time to start doing something you’ve always wanted to do. You have all this time on your hands, so you’ll have as long as you want to practice whatever it is that you want to do. Learn how to read music, how to play an instrument, how to draw, a new language… There are so many possibilities, you can be sure to find something that suits you. As for me, I’ve decided to improve my drawing skills since I’ve always wanted to be able to draw. I even have an instagram page if you’re interested to see my progress ! (the point of the instagram page is only to easily see the progress I make throughout time, I have no intention of becoming an artist haha)

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England getaway !

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As some of you may know if you’re following me on my social media (linked below as always), I went on a little England getaway last week to visit my family with my mum and my sister and celebrate my little cousin’s 7th birthday. Although I’ve gone there a few times in the last years, my mum had only gone once, almost 20 years ago and my sister had never gone so we thought it’d only be right to fit in a day to go to London and be tourists for a while. We had a little picnic and then walked around the main touristic areas of the city for the rest of the day. Thankfully the weather was the absolute best ! Obviously, most of the pictures I took involved some of my family members, especially my littles, so I won’t be posting those, but I did manage to find some pictures without and thought I’d share them with you !

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My Current Evening Routine

Having worked on my Christmas break and then being sick on my last days before going back to uni, I knew that I didn’t have the chance to rest enough and that I had to make sure I could make it through this new semester without breaking/failing. For that reason, I have decided to put in place an evening routine, to make sure I would get as much sleep as possible during the week – I may only have 2 and a half days of class per week, but I do get up early anyway and make my days as productive as I can. Setting up a night routine is the best way for me to wash off my day and prepare my body and mind to go to sleep – I actually do find it effective, considering that I used to spend hours in bed before fallig asleep when it only takes me about 30 minutes now.

I usually start my evening by taking a shower, just to wash off my day and feeling more relaxed – there’s nothing better than a warm shower after a hard day, especially when it’s cold outside. I actually only take a shower in the evening when I have school the next morning, or else I’ll just stick to a skincare routine – I also like to have a pamper night every Sunday to feel fresh and ready to start a new week.

I then head into my room and that’s when I consider my evening routine to truly begin.The first thing I do is to put some music on and only turn on the light on my bedside table, which sets a more relaxing mood. I find that the music I like to listen to the most at this time of the day is mostly movie soundtracks, because they mostly include more relaxing music – but then it’s just what works best for me, it might be different for everyone. Lately, I’ve been listening to the Fifty Shades Of Grey and A Walk to Remember soundtracks, which are some of my favourites.

My Current Evening Routine

When the mood is set, I then begin with the first part of my routine which is my skincare one. My skincare routine is quite simple at night, I usually just put my hair up, take my makeup off and hydrate my face and lips, which tend to get quite dry at night otherwise. Plus, for some reason not having anything on your face and just feeling fresh in general makes me feel way more relaxed.

My Current Evening Routine

Being the control freak that I am, I then like to make sure I have done everything I was supposed to and I’m ready for the next day. How many times have I gone up in the middle of the night just to check if I had everything for the next day? Thought about everything I needed to have done throughout the day just to make sure I wouldn’t have to do it the next day or worse, that it was my last chance of doing so and I’d get in trouble for not doing it (that’s usually how my anxiety kept me from sleeping for hours). To make sure that wouldn’t happen again, I now have a planner in which I write everything I have to do throughout the day and just check it off as it gets done. Not only does it make me feel more productive, it also helps with my anxiety. I like to take my planner just to check if I haven’t forgotten anything in the day and just plan ahead for the following days. That’s usually when I also make my bag for uni and plan mmy outfit for the next day (that gives me more time to sleep in the morning)

My Current Evening Routine

Finally, once I feel physically and mentally relaxed, I get into bed. I usually check on social media (just to see what my friends posted on Twitter and Snapchat) but make sure not refresh them so that I don’t spend hours on my phone, which is really bad if you want a good night sleep. I then like to take time to read a book.  I hated not taking the time to read books I actually wanted last year and so I want to make sure I do now. I’ve reached for The 100 by Kass Morgan, just because I was excited about the show being back this week. Reading actually helps me to fall asleep – although I have to admit it can be hard to put the book down sometimes – because I like to make up scenarios in my head until I fall asleep and reading helps with my imagination.

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