Hello to you my dear peanuts !
This week’s post is quite a personal one, but it’s a big change in my life so I wanted to mention it here, so I can go back to this moment in a few months or years and see how things turned out for me between those two moments. I think I’ve mentioned it in my last blog post but if you haven’t read it or don’t follow me on Twitter, you might not know that this year is my first year as a Uni student. I have been lucky enough to be accepted in the university I wanted to go to, which I am so happy about, especially since one of my close friends has been accepted to the exact same classes as me.
I always get really anxious at the beginning of a new school year, especially when I have to go to a new one, and it was the same for University, only worse. What made it even more difficult is that you are in a totally different environment than what you are used to. You’re basically left without any landmarks, usually alone. As I said, I wasn’t alone but most of the people I know found themselves completely isolated because they didn’t know anyone. Of course it sounds scary when I say it like that, but remember that it’s the same for everyone. My friend and I were quite worried that we might not talk to anyone else, especially considering that we ended up with different people at most classes, but after a few days -about 2 if I remember correctly- we realized that we had some classes in common with some people and we just began talking to some of them naturally. So if I had to give an advice in this situation, I’d tell you to just be yourself, don’t think that because no one talks to you in the first few days, you’re gonna end up alone for the rest of the semester, because chances are you won’t. Just take your time.
One of the things that I was also anxious about was the professors and all the work we’d have to do. I was pleasantly surprised to see that most of our professors were actually still students -PhD students to be more exact- or just young. I always imagined I’d find myself in front of old, strict people, but most of my professors seem quite nice, and ready to help us succeed. I just hope they weren’t pretending, especially considering all the oral presentations I’m going to have to do this semester.. Everyone knows I suck at them, because of my social anxiety. I can only hope they’re going to take it into consideration, and that I’ll slowly get better through the year. Thinking about it gave me one of the biggest panic attacks of my life. I just didn’t feel ready. What if I’m not good enough for this University? Everyone I saw in my different classes seemed so confident and smart, and I don’t consider myself as good as they seem to be. Perhaps I’m wrong and they’re all as anxious as I am, I’ll just have to wait and see.
One thing I haven’t made up my mind about, is the transportation. My University is located in Paris, about 1 hour away from my house which can be extremely annoying when you have to be in class at 8 am or end your day at 6 pm (thankfully I never end the day later than that, unlike some people I know), because it means I have to get up at 5:30 am or be home at 8 pm when there are train problems, which happened on my two first days. Having all this transportation means I have less time to relax at home. My evening routine when I get home after 7 pm is basically eat-shower-sleep and I’m not kidding. It’s exhausting, especially because I’m not used to it yet. But being in a city like Paris is also great because it means I can do whatever I want and it won’t take me long to go where I want to go because of the subways. We have a park near the University and if we have time off and don’t want to study at this moment, we only have to take the subway and go windows shopping, it’s that simple.
I can only hope that the year will go as well as I expect it to be, and that I don’t regret my decisions concerning all the courses I chose to take. Who knows, maybe all the oral presentations will help me get over my shyness and boost my confidence ! And even if I feel overwhelmed, I still have the blog to kind of take time off everything and escape. Maybe it will help me get through it all, to stay positive, because that’s what I want it to be all about. A place of positivity, for me and if you want it to be, for you as well. I’m not the only one who might need to talk about things I like or things happening in my life, so if you want to share, remember that I’m always here ! ♥